Just to update, I've made it over nine weeks, no smoking. I have almost forgotten that I ever smoked, and I am loving all of the differences. Life is different, and the change is amazingly much better; and much more significant than what I had ever imagined. In the first month, I experienced moments of true weakness, and temptation. I have managed to make it through, and to be honest, unless people mention it, by asking.. it is rare that smoking cigarettes even crosses my mind. No cheating, no failing!!!!!

So that is my official update.

I need to update my blog maybe. I still receive a daily phone call from the 'Get Quit' program that I enrolled with, accompanying my Chantix prescription.. which by the way, I only took for three weeks, then called that quits.. the side effects weren't really worth it. Although, I was nauseous all the time, and not eating, so it probably saved me a few pounds. Considering that I already gained a few... better to be wearing tighter jeans, than killing myself and my neighbors... right?? Regardless, looking back, I feel SO SO SO SO SO SO much better about it now, than what I ever expected I would. Thank God, for allowing for me to forget the habit so efficiently. It still haunts me, but I am strong enough to get through any weak moments. My praying loved ones must have been heard :)

tidbit

It has been fun shopping...

This summer has been extremely busy, hectic, stressful... I could go on and on. Those close to me know that I haven't had much good to say lately. I feel somewhat sorry for the ears that are filled with my thoughts, yet at the same time, I appreciate those same ears for being there for me.

My two best friends, my sisters, by me each day, every moment, if I need them to be.. they mean the world to me. Technology is on the distressed person's side.. text messages, phone calls (cell, of course), and email... and IM... here we are.. venting, chatting, gossiping, whatever it may be.

I must admit, this wedding and all of the planning has surprised me:

negativity and pessimism crawling out of my life's woodwork.

Things I have never imagined. I'll be kind, and leave it at WOW.. people suck.

my new motto:

"IT WILL NOT MATTER IN TEN YEARS"

I am dropping the inherited motto that was passed to me by my sister and best friend...

"BOYS ARE DUMB"

Frankly, boys are NOT dumb, and I am sure I'll catch myself saying this later, but for the record, as if this is the only one...

For the record, I am jealous of these boys. At times. Boys are wonderfully simple-minded creatures here to balance out the insane chaos that women are... thank you to my loveliest of loveliest for being here for me on a daily basis, and seeing through my stress.

For the past few months, I will admit that I have questioned myself, and said.. OMG!!!!!!!!! Why are we getting married?!?!?!?! At moments wondering if I should feel sorry for my lovely Luke for having to deal with me... then feeling sorry for me, for having to deal with him! LOL After five years (almost six) of struggling through this life together, we have officially determined that the two of us are peas in a pod.. the pod may not always be suitable toward two peas.. but two peas we are, and we are going to do this.

These past stressful moments erupted into verbal chaos, as all afflicted peas know will inevitably occur... thank the Lord for making such a strong man, to tolerate me, and thank the Lord for whatever imaginable thing is within me to put up with a man.

Wowsers.

Life is grand, full of grandeur, and is better with my Luke. You should all feel a pang of jealousy, as I know I've got the best pea in my pod... No offense boys, and all of those loved ones, but for me... I have found my loveliest match. The best of best friends.

~~~~~~~

For the long lost promised update... we have made significant progress with this planning of the wedding... My sisters have been hard at work to incorporate my stress of a wedding into their own lives.. and we've got the

details nailed down.. only a few loose ends to tie up.

My fAUNTastical Aunt Mindy has magically solved my menu, cake, and floral woes... and my plate has three (less) tasty bites.... missing.... THANK YOU ALL... I am indebted forever! OK, so I should say we, as my poor Luke must feel the wrath of my ridiculousness.

My father's mother, my fantastical Grandmother has taken her time to discuss the alterations that are required to make my wedding dress fit me like a human glove... she is willing to assist in the perfecting process. I find it strange that I spend all of these moments on ONE dress, ONE evening, ONE moment.. and yet I am the only one that would know if my dress didn't fit perfectly. As she states, it fits quite perfectly.. but as all women AND MEN understand... perfect is a state of mind, and I have found an entirely NEW level of perfection for this dress. Funny, if only I could wear such precisely altered garmets to work each day.

Erin-girl and I did manage to find the PERFECT dress, my third try-on... :) I didn't believe her when she said that it was possible... we of course went out to celebrate our fab find afterward.

I was almost sold on the blues band that played that evening, but soon realized we were able to create our own jazz band.. I am quite excited to see how it turns out!

So we are down to the invitations... and the guest list, and the food preparation.. the nitty gritty.

It all started with our cake topper. I found it shopping, and after bringing it home.. Luke sees it and says... "OK babe, we've got to approach this with a sense of humor."

To leave it at that, bring your smiles, if you find an invite in your mailbox...

Which, by the way are hitting the postal service system AUGUST 1st.. my maid of honor.. MOOSE hand made each one.. I simply mark them, stamp them, and "VOILA!" they are in your mailbox.

My Matron of Honor will be happy to have you...

We have some trixy cards up our sleeves... fun times. Fun indeed. After planning this wedding around our honeymoon, the fact that I proposed, and the fact that we've lived together for all of these years... making it slightly backwards... we are inviting our 'closest of close' loved ones, which if you are one, you know we mean family and friends, it is all the same...

to come and to celebrate the official moment that we finally say 'WE ARE IN THIS TOGETHER... FOREVER... AND EVER.. '

.................now, any and/or all of you can stop complaining....we're finally doing it!!!!!!!!

... and those of you that just started complaining, DON'T WORRY, the wedding will be over soon, and you will not have anything left to complain about... not that I'm bitter or anything.

I have the famous Bridezilla excuse... I am amazed, amazed, amazed, at people's reaction to OUR wedding..

Amazed... and another recorded moment.. we are not getting married at the courthouse, if that is what you wish we would do, please, please, please, please.. do not come to our wedding, if this is your wish.

You know who you are.

Gheesh, this bridezilla LOVES LOVES LOVES blogging.

Anyhow, enthusiastic I-do's are coming, we can hardly wait. I intended more blogging this summer, than what I am capable of.. and once winter hits, I'll have plenty to say, I am sure.